Tips for getting and giving advice in the tech forums

I don't know if I've ever seen any tips posted for the newbs. Here's a few of my tips and personal rules I try to follow when posting here. I hope it helps someone.

Gerry

1. Remember that the people helping you here have full-time jobs. They are giving you FREE advice, and using their free time to do it.
   
   
2. If you’re asking for help with a problem, make sure you list all your mods if they are not in your signature. Also, be SURE to list any recent work or other events you think may be related…”I drove through a huge puddle, and the check engine light came on.” Don’t just say “my check engine light is on wtf?”.
   
   
3. Don’t get upset if you don’t get an answer right away. Give it some time, and be patient. (See #1)
   
   
4. Don’t get upset if 50 people have viewed your post, but haven’t replied. If you have no replies, assume those 50 people did NOT know the answer. It is pointless and a waste of time for each person to say “I read your post, but don’t know the answer.”
   
   
5. Try to use correct spelling, punctuation, and paragraph breaks. Nobody expects you to be perfect, but it makes the post much easier to read. If your post is easier to read, you will get more responses. Even if you’re not perfect, the effort is noticed and appreciated by those who are kind enough to help.
   
   
6. Don’t get pissed off if you don’t get the answer you wanted to hear. Remember, this advice is free. If you don’t like it, delete your post and move on...especially if you asked for opinions.
   
   
7. Post in the proper forum. When in doubt, post your question in the Tech lounge. If it should be elsewhere, a moderator can move it to the appropriate forum.
   
   
8. Try to make your subject line descriptive of the help you need. Many people will simply pass over a thread with the title of “HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP ---- OMG WTF!” and answer other posts. Remember #1. We have jobs, and our time is valuable, so help us out a bit. Here are some examples of good thread titles:
   
   Car cranks just fine, but will not fire.
   Need help with exhaust manifold bolt size.
   Which cam is best for the GTO (just kidding)
   
   
9. Remember that the tech forums are full of nitwits too. People go from asking about camshafts one day to making recommendations the next. Take advice with a grain of salt…if it seems wrong, then it probably is. Be careful whose advice you follow…our advice comes without a warranty.
   
   
10. Don’t make outlandish claims you can’t back up. People will quickly learn you are full of shit and ignore you. For example: “OMG…Flowmasters choke your exhaust, create backpressure, and kill your top end.” Posts like this will eventually lead to you being embarrassed.
    
    
11. If you break your tires loose for the first time in your life and you get a little sideways, don’t make a dozen posts about almost hitting a pole and tire compounds. You’re driving a 400hp car. We’ve all fishtailed a bit. Calm the hell down.
    
    
12. Don’t talk bullshit. You will be exposed and relentlessly ridiculed. Just remember if you make claims like “I have two eight second cars…”, chances are a forum member lives in your area and will offer to validate your claims for the enjoyment of the group.
    
    
13. If you give advice, DON’T state it as fact unless you are SURE of yourself. If you are not sure, just say so up front. Many of us guess…just make sure the OP knows it is a guess.
    
    
14. If you do make a mistake and are proven wrong by someone else, don’t get mad, just admit you were wrong. People appreciate honesty and integrity, and don’t expect everyone to be perfect.
    
    
15. Follow up on your threads. If you find the solution here, follow up with a post telling everyone what fixed it. We ALL learn every day, so do your part to help.
    
    
16. Try to use the search function. No, it isn't perfect, but you can find answers if you try. If it is an emergency and you don’t have time, say so. We’ve all been there. “I haven’t searched yet, but I’m stranded at a hotel” will get you help very quickly.
    
    
17. Read the stickies at the top of the section before making your post. Many common questions can be found there.
    
    
18. Last, but not least, do not ever say, “NO, I did NOT use the search function, and I’m not going to ”. Well smurf you too, and welcome to my ignore list. Disrespecting those you’re asking for help will not help your cause. You’ll also be shot on sight, and your car will be given to a Honda owner.

Amen brother.

Very nice and to the point.

This should be a sticky. I would have wrote it myself - but alas, I be too f'd up to do so...

"Help me, help you."


lolz.

Great post Gerry.

STICKY this now!!!

I knew there was a reason you were my favorite person on this board Shoddy.

+1 on the stickiness.

Well done Gerry.

You know, this may cut down on the entertainment value of this place Gerry! Kudos for so much truth in one post.

If it's a sticky no one will read it. Just leave it like it is and people will read it.

Quote: Originally Posted by ShoddyHog... [*]Try to use correct spelling, punctuation, and paragraph breaks. Nobody expects you to be perfect,...

ORLY?

Gerry, I just made a few minor touchups to your excellent post.

1. Remember that the people helping you here have no life. They are giving you FREE advice in the hope that you'll like them. It's worth what you paid for it.
   
   
2. If you’re asking for help with a problem, make sure you list all your favorite foods if they are not in your signature. Also, be SURE to list any recent movies or other events you may have attended…”I drove to Pittsburgh, and the check engine light came on.” Don’t just say “my check engine light is on wtf?”.
   
   
3. Don’t get upset if you don’t get an answer right away. Give it some time, and then start whining. (See #1)
   
   
4. Don’t get upset if 50 people have viewed your post, but haven’t replied. If you have no replies, assume those 50 people think you're a homo. It is pointless and a waste of time for each person to say “I read your post, but don’t know the answer.” We post replies like that to discourage you from further posting, because your'e a homo.
   
   
5. Any effort to use correct spelling, punctuation, and paragraph breaks will get you accused of being a grammar Nazi. Nobody expects you to have passed 5th grade English, even if it makes the post much easier to read. Even if your post is easier to read, you will still get more idiotic responses from leetspeakers. Even if you think this is a text message, the effort is noticed and appreciated by those who are equally illiterate.
   
   
6. Don’t get pissed off if you don’t get the answer you wanted to hear. Remember, this advice is random. If you don’t like it, bitch and whine as much as possible...especially if you asked for opinions.
   
   
7. Post in the proper forum. When in doubt, post your question in the Debate Room. You will receive a Wall of Text that will keep you busy for days.
   
   
8. Try to make your subject line descriptive of your IQ. Many people will simply pass over a thread with the title of “HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP ---- OMG WTF!” because they just don't appreciate how important your problem is, but the idiots will respond with equally inane solutions. Remember #1. We have nothing to offer, and our time weighs heavily on our hands, so help us out a bit. Here are some examples of good thread titles:
   
   Yo, this sucks.
   WTF????????????????????
   Which cam sounds best?
   I did a muffler delete and it's too loud.
   
   
9. Remember that the tech forums are full of nitwits, and you're just another one of them People go from asking about camshafts one day to making recommendations the next. Once you get to 100 posts, we expect you to start helping those less intelligent, if there are any. Be careful whose advice you follow…it just may be your own coming full circle.
   
   
10. Don’t make outlandish claims you can’t back up. People will quickly learn you are full of shit and ignore you. However, if you post some shit like: “OMG…Flowmasters choke your exhaust, create backpressure, and kill your top end.” and repeat it often enough, it magically becomes the truth.
    
    
11. If you break your tires loose for the first time in your life and you get a little sideways, don’t make a dozen posts about almost hitting a pole and tire compounds. We knew you were an idiot from your sig pic.
    
    
12. Don’t talk bullshit. You will be exposed and relentlessly ridiculed. Just remember if you make claims like “I have two eight second cars…”, chances are a new forum member has three seven second cars.
    
    
13. If you give advice, DON’T state it as fact unless you read it on the Internet. If you are not sure, Just post in all caps and use plenty of exclamation points. Many of us guess…and your advice is probably equally worthless.
    
    
14. If you do make a mistake and are proven wrong by someone else, accuse the other person of being a homo. People appreciate a good flame war.
    
    
15. Follow up on your threads. If you find the solution here, post it in the regional section where no one will read it. We ALL have brain farts, and you're no exception.
    
    
16. Never use the search function. Yes, after 6 years and millions of posts, whatever question you might think up after owning the car for a week, is undoubtedly the first time it has ever been asked here. If someone tells you to search, call them a homo.
    
    
17. Read the stickies at the top of the section before making your post. Then go ahead and post your stupid question anyhow.
    
    
18. Last, but not least, do not ever say, “NO, I did NOT use the search function, and I’m not going to ”. Even though you didn't, lie about it. That way even experienced board members will be sucked in along with the usual wrong answers you'll get from the other newbs.

^lol

I'm going to have to read that later. My boss is here, and the laughter will give me away. I gave up on #4 because I couldn't contain it.

Gerry

Gerry, you are my hero of the day.

Bravo!!!!

My only advice is to not look like an illiterate and know the difference between:

To, Too, Two
There, Their, They're
Know, No
Brake, Break

and refrain from using text lingo, OK?

LOL, me to. I now thier r sum dudes who dont no, give me a brake;

Excellent on both accounts.

Gerry, only thing I would change on your list is move #16 to the top and word it more along the lines of mistermike's.

I was going to tell them to lie about searching, but I dind't want to give them my top secret tips


Gerry

Nice...

Quote: Originally Posted by SJFGTO... LOL, me to. I now thier r sum dudes who dont no, give me a brake;

Ed Zackery

This thread has been a long time coming and the list should be a sticky.

Try to make your subject line descriptive of the help you need. Many people will simply pass over a thread with the title of “HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP ---- OMG WTF!” and answer other posts. Remember #1. We have jobs, and our time is valuable, so help us out a bit. Here are some examples of good thread titles:

Car cranks just fine, but will not fire.
Need help with exhaust manifold bolt size.
Which cam is best for the GTO (just kidding)
What's the Video Camera for?
Taco Bell?

very put Shoddy

Shoddy, make another one so I can sticky and close it.

I want to leave this for laughter value.

OK, I've just about had it with this forum. The rules specifically prohibit personal attacks. As I read through the 18 items in the OP, it became blatantly obvious that the entire post was a thinly veiled personal attack directed at me.

I no this is the kinda thing that can hapen when kidz start comming in here but it stil pises me off and makes me wont to brake sumbodys hed wtf is up with a name like shoddyhog anywho?

maybe also you should calibrate the forum before use by asking a non-objective question and comparing it to a know standard. all who answer incorrectly should be immediately segregated and labeled as "do not use: out of calibration"

Solid info, good and to the point...+ 200000000 on making it a sticky...

Can you guys read?

hmm thought this was a sticky earlier today