This was posted on SVT, got quite a kick out of it.
Read this article on AOL today..."Decoding a guy"
Quote:
Originally Posted by BS AOL Article
His Hands Are in His Pockets
Hands in his pockets looks relaxed, but it's anything but. Men tend to hide their hands when they're feeling uncomfortable, are hiding something or want to get away from a conversation.
He Holds Eye Contact When You Talk
Steady eye contact doesn't just mean that he's interested in what you're saying. It's a sign that he's incredibly attracted to you.
He Fidgets With Whatever's Around
Chatting up a guy? If he's holding anything in front of him -- a drink, his hands, a coat, a Golden Popcorn -- it's not a great sign. He's using those things as a barrier to prevent you from getting closer.
He Touches a Sensitive Spot
If a guy breaks the touch barrier, it's a sure sign of interest. But if he gets hands-on with a tender spot that's not generally exposed to the world (like your inner arm, wrist or neck), he's feeling close and connected with you on an emotional level as well.
He Rubs His Hands
If you're having a serious convo with a guy, scope out how nervous he is by checking out his hands. If he's touching or rubbing them a lot, you're making him anxious
He Seems French
No matter how long you've been together, a man that uses tons of tongue when he's kissing you is still totally turned on by you.
He Nuzzles Noggins
Leaning in so your heads touch? This guy's completely in love. Feeling connected enough to make cranial contact is a sure sign of emotional intimacy.
He's Giving You a Good-Bye Peck on the Cheek
Not sure if a new guy you're flirting with is into being just friends or something more? Sneak a peek at his hips when he smooches you. If they're angled away, he's not interested, but if they're pointed straight at you or bump against yours, you've got him hooked.
He Spreads Out
A wide stance means he's trying to show you how masculine he truly is. In other words, he's showing off and preening for you. (That, or he's in a men's restroom trolling for trouble.)
He Blocks His Words
Here's an easy way to spot a liar: If a guy is putting his hands in front of his mouth as he talks, he's likely not telling the truth.
Them women think they got us all figured out....do chicks buy into this crap?
Turrry's new and improved interpretations:
Quote:
Originally Posted by ME
His Hands Are in His Pockets
He's trying to hide the fact that for whatever reason, his dick is hard. If you are trying to seduce him, then take this as a compliment, drop to your knees and "thank" him properly.
He Holds Eye Contact When You Talk
He's lying, and trying to convince you that the blonde with the legs for days and the huge tits probably couldn't offer him the "love you can". Take this as sincerity cause it's the best you're gonna get.
He Fidgets With Whatever's Around
He's bored with the useless dribble you're spewing. More than likely he is desperate to go work on his car, play his xbox, or go work in the yard. Leave him alone for 10 seconds with silence and see if he doesn't get up and leave your uninteresting butt sitting on the couch.
He Touches a Sensitive Spot
He wants to make sex. Now. If this has been done in a area of the house such as the kitchen, bathroom, or hallway, then he wants it RIGHT then on the counter/floor/etc. Whatever is available, get ready to get balled cause it's coming.
He Rubs His Hands
He's probably examining the grease on his hands from before you nagged him to the point of taking you out to dinner, or on a date. He is wondering if he remembered to torque his head bolts properly or if they are just finger tight...and he's wondering when those parts he ordered will be here.
He Seems French
He wants to make sex. Don't fight him, it'll just turn him on more. Let him do what he wants, cause if you've been together for a while and he's taking the time to actually kiss you heavily and not go straight for penetration you are one of the lucky ones. Make sure you "thank him" later...
He Nuzzles Noggins
He is probably actually showing affection with this one...
He's Giving You a Good-Bye Peck on the Cheek
If it's a new relationship he's either too scared to go for it, or you are being a biatch and giving him mixed signals....he's trying his luck. Give him a CLEAR signal so that next time you get to the sex. If this is a good-bye deal, it's just that. A kiss. Quit reading into everything, this isnt a freaking harlequin novel, GET OUT OF OUR HEADS!!
He Spreads Out
His balls are sweaty or needed to be adjusted.
He Blocks His Words
Men have facial hair. It can itch. Don't be an oversensitive biatch and think we are lying because the stubble that is on our face from being up all night listening to you whine about your idiot friends itches us. Just listen to what we are saying for ONCE!!
Just thought I'd clear all that up for you ladies...
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Women are hilarious, and read WAY too much into everything, and think every little thing is about them.
Quote:
He Spreads Out
His balls are sweaty or needed to be adjusted.
Epic win!
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"More like the tuner slammed his face on the keyboard after opening each table." - Tom Brohanks
"I was animalwarfisted" - ironmancan
"I orderd a gm rip shit from them..." - EVIL_GTO
"With most IAT sensors, you've got enough time to get out of the car and start looking around for your pistons before they respond." - MisterMike
"He Seems French
He wants to make sex. Don't fight him, it'll just turn him on more. Let him do what he wants, cause if you've been together for a while and he's taking the time to actually kiss you heavily and not go straight for penetration you are one of the lucky ones. Make sure you "thank him" later..."
I am friggin' dying here.
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Fast enough to have almost gotten me arrested! Twice!
Quote:
Originally Posted by sxty8goats...
Storm's pwnage met Chuck Noris's round house kick for tea last week. There were no survivors.
Needless to say, the LS1GTO.com administration keeps me on a tight leash.
He Rubs His Hands
He's probably examining the grease on his hands from before you nagged him to the point of taking you out to dinner, or on a date. He is wondering if he remembered to torque his head bolts properly or if they are just finger tight...and he's wondering when those parts he ordered will be here.
I can't tell you how many times I've thought about stuff like this while the Wife is babbling away about something (who knows what it was 'cause I wasn't listening).
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Have lift, will rent out...
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His Hands Are in His Pockets
He's trying to resist grabbing your boobs.
He Holds Eye Contact When You Talk
He likes you enough to not stare at your boobs, even though you're showing them off way too much and every other guy in the room is staring at them, licking their lips.
He Fidgets With Whatever's Around
He needs to pee.
He Touches a Sensitive Spot
He's probably into choking you while banging.
He Rubs His Hands
He's getting bored.
He Seems French
He's gay.
He Nuzzles Noggins
Ok I'll leave this one alone.
He's Giving You a Good-Bye Peck on the Cheek
Again, gay.
He Spreads Out
Other guy got it right. His balls are sweaty.
He Blocks His Words
Nearly vomited because you ugly!